Choose Happy Parenting!

Does this sound familiar?

“I’m always tired”

“Going to the supermarket with my kids is awful”

“Life is too busy there’s no time for me.”

“There are always too many jobs to do.”

“It’s not fair.”

Parenting can be really hard! It doesn’t take much for us to spiral into negative thought processes. Many of us think that this is normal, the stress and unpleasantries are just things we all have to endure for a while and then happiness is waiting for us at the end of the parenting journey.

But I believe that parents shouldn't have to wait until their children grow up to be happy.

You deserve to be happy now!

Dr. Stephen R. Covey in his book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,’ tells the story of Viktor Frankyl. I think you need to learn more about this amazing man. It will change the way you look at your life and your parenting!

Frankyl was a Psychiatrist and a Jew who was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany. Almost his entire family was killed at the hands of the Nazi's and he himself, “experienced things so repugnant to our sense of decency that we shudder to even repeat them” (Covey, 2004, p.76). One day when Frankyl was left naked and alone in a room he became aware of “the last of the human freedoms” (Covey, 2004 p.77). The Nazis could do whatever they wanted to his body but “he could decide within himself how all of this was going to affect him” (Covey, 2004, p.77). He had the power to choose how he would respond and nobody could take that freedom of choice away from him. He discovered that using his internal power he could project himself mentally into other circumstances, taking him away from the horrors of the death camp. He became so mentally and spiritually strong that he was able to inspire those around him (even some of the guards) helping them find meaning in their suffering. (Covey, 2004).

Okay so parenting can be hard right, but it’s got nothing on a Nazi death camp. if Victor Frankyl can exercise his freedom to choose the way he responds amidst the most awful circumstances imaginable, we as parents can do the same right?

YOU have the power to choose how you respond to the lack of sleep, to the screaming child, the supermarket tantrums, to the busy schedule, to the relentless accumulation of household jobs. Yes you will still be influenced by all of these external stimuli (social, physical or psychological) but YOU are ultimately responsible for the way you respond (Covey, 2007).

YOU can take the power into your own hands and CHOOSE to be a proactive and positive parent – rather than a reactive, negative parent that blames the world for the challenges in your life.

Instead of, “I never get enough sleep”.

Try, “I’m going to prioritise sleep this week.”

Instead of, “It’s not fair”.

Try, I’m going to make a change”.

Instead of, “there’s not enough time.

Try, “I choose to do what is important.”

So how will you choose to parent?

Will you let life happen to you and reactively respond to the negative stimuli. OR will you take the power into your own hands and choose to be positive, proactive and happy?

I know what I choose!

Kirsty Foster is a teacher, wife, and Mum of 3 boys. As well as working as a New Entrants teacher at her local primary school and being a Rugby Mum, she devotes her spare time to helping other Kiwi parents make their parenting journey easier.

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