5 tips for encouraging your child to do something that they don't want to do

Sometimes our little learners don't want to do something that we ask them to do... maybe they would rather be doing something else, or maybe they just simply don't want to put their toys away or have their nappy changed. Ask, tell, act is always a great option, but there are also lots of other little tricks that you can use with your child to gently persuade their compliance without getting all serious about it. Here they are...

You can pretty much turn anything into a song. Doesn't have to be a children's song either just anything you know the tune of. I'm not a great singer but children don't care! I find my self singing to my children all the time. As we put the cars away I sing to the tune of Walzing Matilda "Cars in the basket, cars in the basket, let's put the cars in the basket today..." Who wouldn't want to join in after that. When changing my son's nappy I find myself singing "penis, penis, you've got a penis - out of your penis comes? (and he says wees). Bottom, bottom, you've got a bottom - out of your bottom comes? (and he says poos)". It's a nonsense song but it makes nappy changing fun and he's far less wriggly and more engaged with the whole process, plus it's teaching him about his body and preparing him for toilet training in the future.

In summary, be silly, make up funny songs, get more compliance.

Say you want your child to get dressed but they are fluffing around in avoidance mode - running away, having a tantie, shouting at you. You know all that fun stuff. Rather than wrestle and argue with them, instead dangle an irresistible carrot. I'm not talking about an actual carrot, but something they love doing that you can offer them once they have done the thing you have asked. For example, say your child loves playing outside and especially jumping in puddles then you could say, "I can see you don't really want to get dressed right now, but once you are dressed then we can go outside and jump in the puddles." Before long your child will be asking you to help them get dressed so they can head on outside to do the fun stuff. NB: avoid dangling a carrot that is a treat food e.g. lollipop - this will end up causing more havoc down the track. The most popular carrots will always be spending quality time with Mum or Dad.

Anything and everything can be turned into a game. So your little learners are putting up a bit of resistance, instead of getting cross or flustered just make it fun. For example they don't want to brush their teeth... you could make it fun by having a race to the bathroom, or having a competition about who can brush their teeth standing on one leg with their eye closed. Make boring things fun and interesting, that's the name of the game here.

Sometimes the reason for the lack of compliance is that your little learner wants a bit more power. Maybe you have been telling her what to do her whole life and now that she has a mind of her own she wants to assert her will. That's okay, you can help her feel powerful and also get that compliance you seek, it's all about offering choices. Keep it simple and offer two. "Charlotte, we need to get ready for daycare would you like to have breakfast first or get dressed first?". If Charlotte feels like getting dressed was her idea then she is more inclined to do it. It works a whole lot better than, "Charlotte quick we need to get you dressed, we're going to be late for daycare!!"

Your little learner has just found your phone on the couch and has picked it up and started to push buttons, probably locking you out of it (aah!). You want it back, badly, but they won't give it to you. You could get cross and demand it back, but you know that it will end up being a big drama, so instead you could just do this... get yourself low, so you're on their level, put your hands out, palms facing up, like in the photo above and ask nicely, "can I please have my phone," or, "ta," depending on how old your child is. Then you will sit there and wait in this unthreatening position. 9 times out of 10 the child will hand over the object without a fuss. Success! This is a golden technique that only the most special parents know, so you're in with the cool crowd now!

Right, so there you have it. My top 5 tips for encouraging your child to do something they don't want to do. If none of these excellent tricks work, then you will have to go down the ask, tell, act route (Diane Levy strategy), it works every time. It's good to have a variety of strategies up your sleeve to pull out like the fabulous parenting magician that you are!